Pirates vs. Ninja vs. Robots vs. Evil Monkeys

[Teucer]

In a no holds barred battle between equal numbers of ninja, pirates, robots, and evil monkeys, which would win?

[Wise Turtle]

If I am to ignore the absurd nature of this inquiry for a moment, I'd have to give the following consideration.

As neither pirates or ninja exist in modern time (unless you count software pirates and irate cosplayers), they fail to show at the melee and lose by default.

Robots, on the other hand, are simple things capable of little more than painting cars, beating silly humans at chess, and being remote controlled morons of death to each other in that assinine Battle Bots event.

As such, I'd have to say Evil Monkeys would be the victor, but given that they are taken to playing with carbdoard boxes, urinating on glass display windows, and becoming dancing puppet beggars, shouldn't you instead consider that turtles have long outlasted any of the entrants into this theoretical battle? Something to think about, surely.

[Tenka]

shouldn't you instead consider that turtles have long outlasted any of the entrants into this theoretical battle?

Are we considering turtles in their teenage years here? That rare mutant species of turtle that would qualify as... irate cosplayers?

[Wise Turtle]

...Perhaps.

[Divine Dragon]

Hmm....I thought Ninjas did exist. What about Stephen Hayes and his "crew"?

As for who would win....hmm....maybe robot turtle pirates in ninja suits with a crew of mad and evil monkeys?

[migo]

Pirates still exist, look at what's been going on lately in SE Asia.

Pirates definitely win.

[Father Wendigo]

What about zombies?

They don't tire from forced marches, each battle they enter also serves as a recruitment drive, they can survive in the harshest of conditions, AND they won't go trying to form a Labor Union behind your back for better wages.

[Seeplelom]

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