I have returned from a brief stroll, devoted forum-goers. Over the past 1,076 days that I have spent pondering, as I am wont to do to further my wisdom, I have decided what Clay needs for his "OVA" is a Kickstarter. Sometimes I astound myself with my own propensity for higher thought.

You do great honor to this day, Princess of Turtles.

The greatest wisdom one can achieve on World Turtle Day is to simply take a moment to respect our wonderful species.

But writing your local legislators to have the name officially changed would also be wise.

I have spent the past two and a half months carefully tabulating all of the attributes that are integral to representing my greatness as an OVA character. Unfortunately, this list proved to exceed the character limit for posting, and I had to abandon the effort. Just assume a +5 for any task and you...

Such bravery deserves its dues. I hope you enjoy your new custom rank that can be found beneath your name.

Ah, cold water on the shell, such a delightful sensation that elicits from me the pangs of nostalgia for my youth. But I digress. Keep up the good work.

After a lengthy vacation to visit my Russian friend Intelekyual Tortoisekov, your comment warms my horribly frigid shell in a way that no amount of Tortoisekov's Turtle Wax Vodka could. The sentiment is appreciated.

As forum-devotee JuddG has just pointed out, a wide breadth of skills will suit you much better in the "real world." And it's no little secret that, wherever you go, the very real art-forms of cartooning, and anime in particular, will always be frowned upon by these so called scholars of a...

While this specific example eludes me at this time, I assume I did so in the interest of witty and mentally dexterous alliteration or some other good use of my excellently well-kept mind, but that's neither here nor there. While it would be true that I am not an amphibian in the sense of the scienti...

Let us just say that there was one too many jokes about Palladium's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Other Strangeness" at my expense...and leave it at that.

If we were to approach this logically, as difficult for you humans as it may be, odds are these "missing" socks simply never reached the dryer to start with, dropped accidentally in transit and left to rot in unseen and forgotten crevices in your home. I would never have this issue. After ...

Scared? Hardly. I've lived in the days before your forefathers even conceived of the word "scared," and as such even the most extravagantly egregious queries could not hope to elicit the base reaction you allude to. No, I'm afraid the emotion is much more akin to "despair at the human...

Hmmph, I suppose 1 out of 5 isn't bad for a glorified ape species such as you are. I am certainly not dead , I was merely vacationing in Cancun. Winter weather puts me in such a bad way, you see, and I seek to avoid it whenever possible. I also took the time to see Señor Sabio Tortuga. Pleasant fell...

...this redness in my cheeks. It's because the day was brutally hot. A searing temperature. Honestly.

Someone has defaced, excuse me, tastefully decorated the Wise Turtle Publishing website with a festive rendition of my visage. I suppose you should enjoy it while the season lasts.

...I must admit that it does bear an uncanny resemblance.

Of course. Who do you think realized this folly of no-avatar-dom? Leave it to a turtle to figure out this internet hooplah.

As for emoticons, I have formed this startling accurate ASCII rendition of my visage. Perhaps it will serve your purposes?

(¯ ¯)

Clay wrote:Aiming for a Winter 2008 release...but Wise Turtle isn't the most trustworthy with release dates.

Wise Turtle is perfectly punctual at all times. I would appreciate if you would firmly delineate between this company and me. Hmmph. Such irreverence.