Wise Turtle Publishing

we just recieved a large helping of spam. What does the wise turtle do in these situations?

Well, seeing as the wise turtle is napping, ^_- I'll inject a few pieces of...wisdom?...something like that anyways.

First we need to determine what kind of spam, as they are treated in two distinctly different ways.

First the internet type spam: Not to much you can do, accept send them an email saying you've changed your address to that someone you don't particularly like. ^_^

The paper kind is more fun, first you mark down any and all return addresses. Then you pile it all up and burn it, keeping the ashes in a small jar. Now, remember the prank where you set a bag of burning crap on someones doorstep? Think that only without the fire (as it doesn't mail to well). Box it up and send it off to some of them. As for the others? Bleach out those ashes, put them in nice little envelopes, and mail that to the rest. Key part of this? Make sure you don't put your return address.

While this may not solve the problem, at least you can have a good laugh about it. (^_^)


Thomas the Wanna-Turtle

I belatedly addressed this elsewhere.

It should be noted, fellow forum friends, that I do not condone this solution, nor the grammar within this solution, on any level.

Seriously, I know you humans are a jealous, petty sort, but can we not just get along?

...Though I must admit, I do have this steadily growing pile of junk mail...Oh, the spiteful things I could create to put fear and loathing into the hairy bags of flesh that dare to fill my mailbox so! If only I had opposable digits of some sort.

I digress. My actual recommendation would be to switch to Mozilla Thunderbird. Its trainable junk filter is extraordinarily useful. Clay gets countless mail, and only once has it improperly labeled a message as trash, and even then, it was an awfully suspcious looking email. Silly humans.