Wise Turtle Publishing

Ok, so this is the idea, I want to run a satirical super hero game based on the comic Empowered by Adam Warren. If anyone here is familiar with it, then you know the kind of crazy ass shit that the different heroes and villains are. To help simulate this random crazy stuff by making the players have to roll for a random Ability or 3 as well as some Weaknesses. The Abilities I want in the list are:(a total of 32 Abilities)
Armored, Attack, Barrier, Dimensional Pocket, Endurance Reserve, Flight, Gear, Healer, Heightened Sense, Illusionist, Incorporeal Form, Invisibility, Life Support, Lucky, Magic Arcane, Magic Witchcraft, Psychic, Quick, Resistance, Shape-Shifter, Sixth Sense, Smart, Spirit Medium, Strong, Telekinesis, Teleport, Time Freeze, Tough, Transformation, Unique Ability, Vehicle(Mecha), Vigorous.

The Weaknesses are:(A total of 28 Weaknesses)
Accidental Transformation, Amnesia, Awkward Size, Bizarre Appearance, Compulsion, Dependency, Emotionless, Endurance Use, Focus, Frail, Guardian(maybe), Hatred, Impaired Sense, Limited Uses, Mute, Obsession, Outcast, Quirk, Restricted Freedom, Secret, Servitude, Slow, Split Personality, Suppressed Power, Trigger, Unique Weakness, Unlucky, Vulnerability.

Now, I could really use some help making a percentile chart for each one of these lists. The question is, should i just make them as balanced as possible(ie, make them all 3% and spread the difference around) or should i make the more powerful Abilities have a lower % chance of being rolled while the more balanced Abilities have a greater % chance(ie. Teleport or Time Stop might have a 1% chance, while Attack or Heightened Sense might have a 5% chance).

I've never played this game yet so any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks

Your idea is interesting.
Since I don't know the comic I can't really help with ideas on how to bring the feeling into your game, but I'll do my best to help anyways.

Since you'll have your players roll for 1 random Ability I'd make those as balanced as possible.
For the 3 Weaknesses I'd make 2 tables:
1 major Weakness-table and 1 minor Weakness-table. So try to group those weaknesses into to tables and leave some "room" for no weakness in both and some room for 2 minor in the major table.
For example:
Major Weaknesses 5% for no weakness, 15% for 2 minor Weaknesses and 80% spread over the Major Weaknesses. Or something like that...I'm not good with math...
I'd make the players roll for 1 major Weakness and 2 minor, except they roll for 2 minor on the major table...if I come up with an idea on how to group the Weaknesses I'll write again.

Hope this helps you in any way...

If you don't want to break out percentile dice, you might consider a d66 table for your random Abilities and Weaknesses. Basically you roll two d6s and read them as you would percentile dice, giving 1 of 36 results.

In other words, a chart would look like this:

11 Ability 1
12 Ability 2
13 Ability 3
14 Ability 4
15 Ability 5
16 Ability 6
21 Ability 7
22 Ability 8
...and so on.